


Of Veils & Virgins

by Inspire



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Multi, PWP, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-28
Updated: 2009-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-03 22:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inspire/pseuds/Inspire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Locked in the Department of Mysteries overnight on Beltane, Harry and Hermione plan to bring Sirius back from beyond the veil. Sirius has a plan of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Veils & Virgins

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Written for Inell's Locked in a Room Challenge on Livejournal.

"I'm telling you Harry, I've done all the research. This will work. I know it will."

"I don't doubt that your research is top notch, Hermione. What I'm asking is how do we know that even if we can get Sirius back that he'll be the same? If what you've told me is true, and the veil leads to a kind of limbo, wouldn't it be likely that Sirius would have run mad after 10 years?"

"Perhaps, but remember, the man lasted longer in Azkaban. I somehow doubt that a giant void could do what Dementors couldn't, Harry. But if you're not sure you want to do this, we don't have to, you know."

"You said we'd be stuck in here until morning. How do you plan for us to get out if we decide to skip it?"

"I don't."

"You don't?"

"Harry, I can't get us out of here before sunrise. You know that. However, just because the Department of Mysteries locks each of the rooms down automatically each night doesn't mean that we have to do what we came here for, does it? There isn't a thing that says we can't do something else between now and sunrise, is there?"

"No, but it is Beltane. If we're not going to do this, I'd rather be somewhere else celebrating."

"You know that we needed to do this on Beltane or else wait until Samhain to get this sorted, Harry. The veil won't be thin enough to call Sirius back otherwise… And I'm sorry I'm such horrid company that you'd rather be anywhere else than here with me."

"Hermione…"

"Don't Harry. Just. Don't. I got it. It's fine. Need a girl to help with an essay? Call Hermione. Need a girl to organize a secret defense group despite an evil toad-woman? Call Hermione. Need a girl to help rescue your godfather from whatever dreadful situation he finds himself in this time? Call…"

"Hermione!"

"Exactly. Call Hermione. Need a girl to help 'celebrate' Beltane? Call anyone but Hermione. After all, why would any boy want to celebrate with Hermione when there's anyone else available."

"That's not true and you know it."

"Isn't it, Harry? If I didn't wear a skirt once in awhile, would anyone even notice that I'm a girl? I'm certainly not like those big-breasted, blond bimbos Ron's so very fond of, or like those stick-thin, long-legged, vacuous slags you seem to favor. In fact, the only male who seems to have recognized that I am actually a female is Blaise Zabini."

"Z-Za-bini?"

"Yes, Harry, Zabini. Although I'm convinced that tall, dark and gorgeous is only after me because I'm the only woman from our class at Hogwart's that he doesn't have a notch on his bedpost for, and the man only wants a complete set."

"Z-Zabini?"

"Yes, Harry, Zabini. Maybe I should just agree to…"

"Zabini? Hermione, he's a man-whore! I won't allow you to do anything with him!"

"Won't allow me, Harry? Allow? As if you have any claim to me that gives you the right to tell me anything I can or can't do? You don't own me, Harry Potter! Why do you even care? It's not as if you want me! I don't want to stay a virgin forever, Harry, and I'm tired of waiting for y…"

"Oh for Merlin's sake Harry! Just shag the girl already!"

"Huh? Sirius? Is that you?"

"Sirius! Harry, look! Do you see the veil shimmering? Quick, get the staff. Sirius, we're going to pierce the veil with a staff. Grab hold and we'll pull you out. Ready?"

"Got it. Now get me the bloody hell out of here!"

* * *

"Well that was a lot easier than I thought it would be."

"I was getting tired of listening to you two bicker like an old married couple. I finally had to shout to get your attention. Now Harry, if you don't want Hermione and you don't want Zabini to have her, how about letting your old godfather have a go?"

"You're a bigger man-whore than Zabini! Leave Hermione alone, Sirius. She doesn't need you coming on to…"

"That. Is. It. Harry James Potter. I'm sick and tired of you trying to make decisions for me. Sirius, if you want me, you can have me. I'm tired for waiting for this moron to notice that I've been saving myself for him. What a waste of my time. I could have been doing this years ago."

"Hermione! No! He's…"

"He's what Harry? Handsome? Sexy? Masculine?"

"Old. Sirius is old. He's old enough to be your father, Hermione."

"Just means I have more experience, Hermione. I'll make it good for you, I promise. I have lots of experience deflowering virgins. I promise you'll forget all about Harry once you've…"

"Shut up, Sirius. This is between Hermione and me."

"Well, I wouldn't mind being between Hermione and you. Or better yet, having Hermione between the two of us. What do you say, Hermione? Harry and I could rid you of all your virginities. After all, you do need to make up for all that lost time, don't you?"

"Sirius, don't talk to her like that."

"Shut up, Harry. Sirius is right. I do want to make up for lost time. You can either join us or go wait over there for the doors to unlock in the morning like a good little boy."

"You're joking, Hermione. You know you don't want… rmmmmhrrrr."

"Now that's the way to shut him up, Hermione. Kiss him again."

"Are you going to cooperate now, Harry, or do you want watch Siri… hmmmrhmmm."

"Oh yeah, that's more like it. More kissing, less talking. Or better yet, less talking, more shagging."

"Shut up, Sirius and get over here."

* * *

"Granger! Where the hell are you? Did you fall asleep down here again? You know you're not supposed to work past lock-down."

"Zabini, bugger! Quick! Get dressed both of you."

"What's the rush? Maybe he'd like to join us?"

"Sirius!" "Sirius!"

"What? The more the merrier. We have a lot of time to make for, remember?"

"Man-whore."

"See Harry, he's still the same."

"Better believe it, babe."


End file.
